M'lady Marie Said No
by OnceABlueMoon
Summary: Marie is done with Erwin's angst fest and Nile's pining. Don't they know trios are a thing these days?


**M'lady Marie Said No**

 **(or the True History of No-Shit Marie and her personal dorks)**

 **Summary:** Marie is done with Erwin's angst fest and Nile's pining. Don't they know trios are a thing these days?

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Attack on Titan

* * *

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when one's significant other declares: ''We've got to talk,'' the relationship is over.

However little known the conversations true topic may be, this truth is so well fixed in the mind of mankind, that Marie could not help but sit down with a sigh. A break up before even being a relationship, Erwin's drama at its height (Pfffft, as if. She'd seen that man throwing a tantrum over Nile folding paper planes with a fellow soldier during a meeting instead of playing footsie with him- not that he'd called it footsie, of course, but Marie knew better. Bless Erwin's little multicolor sparkle heart).

While the couch was comfortable, the fact that Erwin sat in front of her instead of resuming his duties as her personal body pillow was not.

Erwin leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. ''There is something I need to tell you.''

What came out was dry as the desert. ''I gathered that.''

''I…''

Was this not a break-up after all? ''…Have finally decided to come out of the closet?''

Erwin spluttered, his cheeks flushing. ''I am not gay!''

Marie tutted and reached over the table, smoothing his hair back. ''Of course you aren't, dear. Raging bisexual, that's more like it.''

She had evidence. Mainly in the form of one Nile Dok, attached to Erwin's side and heartstrings with a pretty red bow.

…Erwin thought better of protesting.

''I don't want to have a family. Not ever.''

''Okay, I can work with that—''

''Marie, it's too dangerous. I want to discover the world out there; I'll most likely meet an early end by Titan maw. I can't give you what you need.''

Marie pinched her nose bridge. Not this again. I can't do this to my spouse or children, yadda, yadda, yadda. Erwin's weekly whine sessions were infamous. (It was all ''beyond the walls!'' and yes, Marie was glad he had that dream, but heaven knows how he expected humanity to survive without procreation).

She was done with his shit. ''I'm going to Nile,'' turned around and dashed out of the room in a flurry of red curls.

* * *

Erwin stared at the closed door.

He told her he couldn't have a family. Didn't want to, because his dream was being in the Survey Corps, and he couldn't do that to a spouse or children. And that he was sorry but- but Marie had left him standing here. And that was the point. Marie was supposed to leave him and be happy, but... He swallowed thickly.

He hadn't been prepared for Marie leaving straight away, not for another man. Especially for Nile- Nile, with his dark hair, scarred hands and permanent bags underneath his eyes from sleepless nights long past. Nile, who had been smitten with Marie for so long, just like Erwin.

It left him feeling numb, a thick comforter covering his emotions. It wasn't enough to drown out his organs trying to strangle each other underneath, though.

Nile wouldn't leave him, would he?

Nile slipping away would be a bunk bed half empty. It'd be shivering alone on the cold nights, no one Erwin trusted enough to let close to his veins. It would be no more jokes and no more smiles. No more best friend, no more… No more almost.

Goodbye, my almost lover.

Erwin leaned his forehead into his hands, rubbing his temples. Hopeless dreams, God only knew wh- With a mighty swoosh, the door opened again. Erwin started, jumping. Marie barged in, dragging Nile with her, her hand firmly in his.

Decisively, she sat down in front of Erwin. Erwin blinked. Nile blinked back. Marie harrumphed and tugged at Nile's hand. Rapidly, the raven sat down next to her. Their hands didn't part. Erwin's stomach dropped.

It hurt, because Erwin knew he couldn't have Marie, knew he couldn't have a family, but Nile had sworn to follow him into the Survey Corps. Erwin had thought- foolishly, he saw now- that he would get to keep Nile at his side. The idea of missing that, of not ever seeing dark eyes glow butterscotch in the firelight again, slammed into his solar plexus harder than any fist had ever done.

He… He most likely just turned into another name simply crossed off the list once he finally croaked, not a single person around to remember he was more than just a corpse to be rounded up and burned. But all he could see right here on this couch were entwined hands and backs turning to him. The laughter of children not yet there echoed through the room, the ghost of a future he'd never have. He closed his eyes and let out a shuddering breath.

Marie sighed. ''Erwin, please stop your angst fest.''

The blond's jaw dropped.

Nile began to laugh, but Marie hit his shoulder, glaring. ''You aren't any better, Mr. Pine-A-Lot! Haven't you dorks ever heard of a thing called a TRIO?!'

* * *

 **Omake:**

''But the risk of-''

''We're willing to bear that, Erwin.''

''But-''

''Yes, we thought about it.''

''But children-''

''Look, Erwin, I'll marry Nile, you can run off to the Survey Corps to do your thing and come back home to us in the winter holidays, okay? That's it. Two weeks a year, all we're asking.''

''But-''

''Marie, let me handle this.''

''Nile, I doubt-'' Marie trailed off. ''…Well, I guess kissing him silly works too.''

* * *

 **Author's note**

M'lady Marie Said No, AKA: When I was writing Withering and I was reminded why I do not write love triangles- Because I begin to see ways to ship them as a trio instantly and it rarely STAYS a love triangle. So yes. This was written to cheer me up!

(For those who have no idea what I'm talking about: this is an AU on my fic Withering, in which Erwin does not return Nile's feelings and there are contemplations on the love triangle and their complicated past and relationships)

The opening of this one-shot might look familiar- it was inspired by the opening of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Erwin's angst fest was written while listening to Almost Lover by A Fine Frenzy!

Also, the part about Erwin's multi-color sparkle heart? I said multicolor on purpose, as Erwin is bi or pan in this fic.

Fun fact: Grammarly keeps trying to correct Nile's name to ''the Nile,'' XD


End file.
